irani chai & fine bone china tea-cups...

You know, I think we Indians are like irani chai but pretend to be like the noble Oolong Tea from the mountains of China which is so distinctly classy (like  Jane Austen classy) when relished in a fine bone china cup. What we should understand (and also the world!) is that fine bone china cup or not or simmbly the roadside chai-wallahs traditional  'cutting chai'  waala glass, irani chai is irani chai only. And we are like that only!

It doesn't matter how many flyovers are put up and how many hi-class glass-waala high-rise buildings are pulled up  so that externally we look like some frigging developed first world country but internally we are the same. I am sorry but how much ever you try you cannot remove 'Indianness' from us.

You dont know what is Indianness ? Shit Man, Shit!

Yea, we cannot control when we have to poo. Or for the matter pee. So when we are at public places we really dont care who and how many are waiting and just run into into the pee-pee rooms like they are our bedroom's attached bathroom .What we can only think about is the force that is being exerted on the bladder.

You heard about our ancestors no. Kings and queens and all the silks and jewellery they used to wear. We are royalty, dude. We cannot wait in Queue for a bathroom or an elevator or for the matter, anywhere and for anything! What are queues? The only Qs we know are the alphabet Qs and we dont need them for a lot of words so comfortably forgot them after buttifying it for that KG exams.

I told you da we are royalty. Upon that we are busy. We cannot wait in a traffic jam. If the road ahead is blocked,we cannot waste time and simply drive off on the right side of the road. Why is the 2-lane road there for? 

We have our rights in place.And we exercise them with all sincerity. specially the right to information. we ought to know what is being made for dinner in our opposite uncle's home and also how much dowry the neighbor's brother's wife's co-sister's OWN brother is getting and how much jewellery the brother's would-be wife is bringing. Ayyayo.. I totally forgot to find out how much my opposite uncle is paying for his son's mbbs seat in Ukraine.

There is so much competition ba in our country. So we have to be opportunistic. Like driving exactly behind the ambulance's back so tht we dont get stuck in traffic again. 

We are very much concerned about our honor and pride and showing off our wealth. You shouldn't waste money. It doesn't come for free and neither does it grow on trees. That is why we haggle so much with everyone be it the sabjiwala or Shoppers Stop waala. What's the harm in asking yaar. 5% discount is still 5% no. We save all this little money so that when we go out with friends to 5-star hotels and pubs we can fight 'I'll pay! I' ll Pay!"

We are very good with planning re. I simply hope the govt. learns from us and makes strong 5-yr plans. Just like we make our life plans so nicely. What is there...just do off Engineering, get a job with an MNC, buy a car, get married and buy a flat. Life is settled. Dont worry! Even if we dont get a job, no worries.. we can go the US and do off Master's. And  can earn all that money back in the form of nice dowry we will get. There is a huge demand for US boys. The chances of getting a pretty white-Indian girl will also go up by 50% 

Seriously!! 

Few things baffle me!

I can never comprehend from where the hell we developed this habit of speaking in %ages..

India is land of paradox. If someone starts connecting the dots he wouldnt be able to connect even 10% of them (there you go! %age again )

How can we be so cultured & refined and 'like this only!' at the same time?

Is it a bubble that would burst soon? I don't know!

I think the entire act is like drinking coca-cola from a wine glass and putting up a farce to the entire world as connoisseurs of wine!!