little nothings...

What do you do when you are stuck in a traffic jam? Radio stations? They bore me big time. The RJs and their fake telangana yaasa suck. It is like their core idea is advertisements and  play a song in between when they need a break from the ads. Like a bee flitting from flower to flower, my mind keeps flitting from car to car, checking out the inmates of the car - if they are cool enough for that car or what could their profession be, number plates, colors and personalities, and the front grill! To beat Traffic , here are a few things you could do. 1) Attach a personality to the car Just like each one of us has different features that make us unique and talk about our personality, each car has a unique personality. My favorite activity while stuck in a jam is to assign a personality type to the car depending on the size and shape of its front grill. The older buses had a square shaped grill and they look like a huge giant of a person with a small mouth and like a person kissing

I love stories. Specially narrating stories. Exaggerating them and narrating. I have stories associated with just about anything. Bird shit, car, lock, missing flights, chasing buses, maid servant, broken pyjama strings, coffee, blog...Give me anything and I will tell you a story that happened to me with that subject. The BadCow story has nothing to do with being bad or cows or cows that are bad. It is just my tryst and obsession with bad words. If only my dad had an iota of idea about the extent of my 'galeez maatalu' vocab, he would jump from his 5th floor apartment. Going by the number of bad words I know and use, the way I drive and cuss at drivers ( and yeah my love for night life too ), my mum feels I should have been born as a boy and If I were born a boy and got married, my wife would've committed suicide within the first 2 months of the marriage. See..exaggeration you see. It runs in the family. BadCow ...reminds you of any bad words? For non-native Telugu

Last week was a dream-come-true week for me. Not that 5 years down the line 'i-shall-become-an-IAS officer-and serve-my motherland' or ' i will own a Maserati  ' dream dream, but, whatever be the magnitude and aptitude of a dream, a dream is  still a dream! The last week saw two of my dreams come true. And when two dreams come true, you begin to wonder if you have any psychic powers and should take up reading tarot cards as a part-time job... 1) Taking into account the wandering mind that I have, the only consistent dream so far has been the one where I am introduced as a writer. Last night, I was at a dinner party with a few of my undergrad college seniors and their respective wives. S introduces me to his wife as ' She is a writer. She writes blogs. And she runs her own business blah blah'. My mind stopped after the first 4 words (Technically 3. Is 'a' counted as a word?) What was that? Writer? Wrrrriiiiiittteeer??? Awwww... You know that scene from

1) The 'This- road- my Baap-Ka-jaagir' kind of drivers This kind of people drive to the extreme right side of the lane (where you are supposed to be the fastest or overtake from technically!!) and  are typically seen cruising around at speeds not exceeding 20 Kmph and are in total oblivion of the looooong line of vehicles behind them and the constant crying of horns. You can honk your heart out but these Nawabs will not move an inch to the left. They could be thinking about anything: from romancing their girlfriend in their head thinking the road to be their lush green field to dreaming about their wife preparing lip smacking Jilebis. Dude, I know you may be hearing to romantic melodies about love gained or love lost and reliving your first crush/date in your head, but just get out of my way!!! With due respect to the Baaps, i feel these kids deserve one strong smack! Given? Ok. Next category. 2) The 'I'm a busybee-my world crashes if I don't take this c

Some random guy in some random city sued Unilever ' for cheating and causing mental suffering' cos he has been using Axe Effect for seven years and not a single girl went out with him. Shut up! I have been using fair & lovely for 14 years and nothing happened. I dint climb one point on the whiteness meter. Unfair I say!! So, I have decided I will also press charges on them for making false promises, causing emotional trauma, and distress to my entire family , humiliation due to rejections by potential grooms who still considered me dark skinned after years and years of usage while they advertised promising results and the handsomest of young boys in 2 weeks. Cheating!! On another note, why do we Indians have this fair skin fantasy. Men, women, and specially mothers-in law are obsessed with fair skin and fair skinned bahus. Even a charcoal dark guy in India wants a 'white' wifey. Fool! first you gotta learn its fair and not white. Read more about that axe effec

Ok. So i am a thousand steps away from striking point no 12 from this list  :D yeah , yesterday morning was something like wisdom-morning ( gyaanodayam...right no?? ) for me. It was one of those mornings when you wake up with ants in your pants and are all tensed about something and want that something to be on your priority list that day and the following days. Ever felt that? yeah it was that day for me.  In my dream, i was getting dressed for a party and was trying outfit after outfit and  I couldnt fit into any and I was finally out of options and dint have anything to wear for the party. So I skip the party, sit and sulk at home over tubs of chocolate icecream watching sex and the city and then cry myself into bed feeling envy for Carrie Bradshaw because she has THAT figure and all those designer clothes and handbags. I am crying and crying and crying while everyone was having fun and dancing to "Everybody.. Shake your body" at the party. I tell myself you are a sport

Have you met people that you instantaneously liked/loved and then had to separate immediately ? Have you parted from that friend of yours who was your partner in crime and the shoulder that you sobbed on for hours? Did you meet people with whom you shared an absolute chemistry and then just decide to stay away for the higher good of mankind or abstracted good outcomes? Did you? I always thought I was the only one who met people, hit it off from the word go, and then had to bid adieus only to turn to tubs of chocolate ice-creams to get through the pain and agony. Why do we meet people only if we have to part? This question is always on the top of my  list of Why??s . WHY? Whenever this happened to me, I cursed God. Bigtime. Cursed him using words totally unbecoming and unfitting of a woman brought up in a proper household. That was my way of overcoming the pain. Yea, apart from the comforts of the ice-cream tubs and emptying wallets at stores over tunics that I wouldn't wear in

why is it that every happy story should have a sad ending? why is it that matured decisions are always painful to the heart? why is it that decisions that make you happy are often touted silly? why is it that the mind and heart should be in conflict all the time? why is it that you meet people if you have to part later? why is it that life makes you un-believe your belief in fairy tale endings? why is it that life ceases to be a bed of roses ? why is it that there are options that lead to confusions? why is it that we have to go through a quarter life crisis? more why?s to come...

So, now that the decision to strike back has been made the bigger challenge I face is what to write. I have seriously been thinking about another post on relationships and complications -part 2. But then, I decided not to simply because a post on complexities and confusions and crappiness cannot be a come back post. Can it be? Yeah, I can see a big swing of that head from left to right. I understand none of us would want a sorrowful reunion. Yea, the left to right swing reminds me of my Spanish friend R who was recently in the city to meet her Telugu In-laws and relatives. I taught her that a left to right swing is a NO and a top to bottom swing is YES. The smart girl that she is, she asks me doubts in that theory too. She asked me what would it mean when the head is sent in a 180 degree left to right vertical swing ? Yes, that is also a YES. So remember the next time you give survival lessons to your firangi friends visiting the Swades, make sure you include this one too! A reunion

Ok. So, due to public demand for a come back and also due to the free flowing thoughts that have started flooding yours truly's tiny speckle of a brain, yours truly has decided to blog and tweet again. Yes, tweet. Obviously, i just cannot keep spamming one social networking site with all the crap. It would be too much bullshit for one platform to handle. And what would Jack Dorsey think? Would n't he and twitter feel neglected? And being the compassionate human being that I am, I cannot do it. So its going to be lots of bullshitting on the blogosphere and twitterosphere from now. And yeah, bullshit does not have synonyms. Now, c'mon! Dont open dictionary.com to validate what I said. I already did dear. Save yourself some time and go grab that cup of coffee. I love coffee. But, I hate mornings. But, every night I await a new morning so that I can brew myself another cup of coffee. Morning coffee.

Its been months since I blogged. Its been weeks since I even visited my blog. Its been ages since I read any other blog as well. Earlier, thoughts and words just seemed to flow. Reading while sipping hot coffee was one of my favorite leisure activity and it just seems to be an ordeal now. I can sit for hours with a paper and a pen but nothing to write. I am not sure why. Is it that I am too tired for reading and writing? Or is it that I stopped reacting to anything? Or, has my mind stopped thinking? I am not really sure what the reason may be. Maybe, I should gracefully let my blog go into the hibernation mode while I busy strike off things from my 30 before 30 list. Adios!